Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
