I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Will exercising make me less horny?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
