of course. lets lasso hookers.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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