she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
