he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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