New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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