so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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