the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
