I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
