I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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