btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
