I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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