I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
