i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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