im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
