Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
