I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
