i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
