Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
