I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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