I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
