Me too!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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