Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize