i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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