I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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