He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize