should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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