Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
