I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
