You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
