Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
