i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
