I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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