All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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