he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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