thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
this hospital has no fireball
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
