She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
