Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
