Having a random hookup so left but love u
Non-Jews are for practice
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
