Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
