i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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