I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
should my penis look like a turkey
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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