I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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