yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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