I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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