So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
