high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
