i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she pinky promised me she was 18
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
