My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
