ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
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