laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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