I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
