That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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