Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
