he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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