Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
