my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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