i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
