Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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