I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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