every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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