Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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