Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night