I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.