CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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