im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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