this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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